A recent question in our inbox, “What can circle hosts do when conflict arises?” prompted us to gather various resources and stories that are sprinkled throughout our website. May the resources below offer a starting point to help navigate the inevitable wobbly moments in circle.
“That’s the key idea: issues arise when people get together. We’ve been noticing this since the first stranger wandered into the firelight, sat on the wrong rock, and committed a social faux pas. How do we create and sustain community when we are all imperfect? How do we handle our volatility and vulnerability and keep focused on the purpose of the group? To address these questions, we start with an assumption: most of the time, most people are trying to offer the best of themselves to a group’s experience, and we stumble and fumble and thwart that process unintentionally. Part of the resilience of leadership at the rim is becoming aware of how these dynamics show up and helping ourselves and others get through rough spots and get on with our vision, intention, and appreciation of each other’s presence.” ~ The Circle Way, Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea, page 128
Components of The Circle Way
“Change the chairs, change the conversation” is the tagline from The Circle Way book that circle practitioners often say. Sometimes moving the chairs into a circle and removing the table is a bold step on its own – activism for a better way of being together. However to entrust the circle to hold our most important conversations, and potentially high-heat situations, changing the chairs alone will not create the safe-enough space needed to help us speak and listen in a different way to let the new emerge. Being in circle is like walking a tightrope; circle doesn’t mean we won’t fall when there is a wobble, but there is a safety net to catch us. The components of The Circle Way can help create that safety net. Here are descriptions of how five of the components in particular can help give circle process strength: having a centre, agreements, visible points of leadership, talking piece, and check-in/check-out:
Have a centre: The centre of a circle is like the hub of a wheel; it connects us and holds the rim together. The centre is common ground where people put their words. We speak to the centre rather than to each other. Creating a centre in a circle gives us a resting place; a place to look to remember why we are in this conversation and it provides a space where we can direct our emotion, energy and opinion instead of zinging them across at someone. It might hold a symbolic object for the team, or the mission and values on placards or people can bring an object to contribute to the centre.
Agreements: How do we show up? Using agreements calls people to being together respectfully. Agreements focus on how we speak – with intention to be aware of our impact, how we will listen and be listened to– with curiosity and without judgement, how we will handle confidentiality, and agreeing to pause when needed. If you don’t have time for a group to create their own agreements and are offering these four common ones, you can ask if there are any other agreements to be added to feel safe enough for this conversation? The agreements give us neutral language to draw from when we notice we are not contributing as best we can to the well-being of the whole circle.
Visible points of leadership: A circle is a leader-full group and it is led with some particular roles – visible points of leadership. One role is a host – who holds the agenda for the conversation. Working with the host is a guardian who sits across from the host. The person serving as guardian is tending to the health of the social process. They ring the bell to inject silence and to re-focus the group process. Everyone shares responsibility for guardianship of the circle and can ask the guardian to ring the bell. The third role sometimes present is scribe.
Talking piece: This isn’t named as a specific component, but is a tool to support the practices of speaking with intention, listening with attention and contributing to the well-being of the group. A talking piece is a hand-held object that signifies whose turn it is to speak. Others are then released into listening instead of preparing to interject what they want to say. Using a talking piece helps to slow down the conversation, hear all voices, and speak without interruption. Talking pieces have been found on archeological digs – the desire to speak without interruption is as old as our tendency to interrupt! Using a talking piece changes the quality of the listening and changing the quality of the listening changes the quality of the conversation. This is particularly useful in times of conflict, uncertainty, and opens the space for emergence. You can hold the talking piece for a few moments to consider what you want to say without fear of being cut off or losing your turn. You don’t have to use a talking piece the whole time you are in circle – after a talking piece check-in round, you might put the piece in the middle, move into general conversation, and go back to the talking piece as needed. It is there to support a different pattern of speaking and listening.
A quote from Kay Pranis’ Little Book of Circle Process that illuminates how a talking piece is helpful when working with conflict and emotion: “The talking piece helps to manage the discussion of very emotional issues. Because the talking piece must go around the full Circle, it prevents two individuals from getting into a back-and-forth emotional exchange, and responding without thinking. If the words of one participant anger another, multiple members of the Circle may address the issues raised before the talking piece reaches the angry participant, thus relieving the angry participant from a sense of needing to defend him/herself alone.” I have also found that what others share as the talking piece travels around may help shift the perception, and the fire lessens for that person.”
Check-in and Check-out: The beginning sets the tone. Start intentionally, in a manner that invites people to connect with one another, and for each person to enter their voice into the circle. Participating within the first five minutes of a meeting helps set the pattern for participation throughout the meeting – that we are all contributing to the quality of the experience in the circle. I think of the mantra ‘Check-in convenes us and check-out releases us.’ Check-out is the same pattern; each person speaking a few words – maybe something they learned, are carrying forward, or where they are as a result of the conversation at the end of the circle.
See the Two-Page Guidelines for more on the Components of Circle.
The Four Animals
During The Circle Way practicums, time is often spent on the topic of sustaining healthy circles: that there are unspoken elements that need to be discussed or tended to or they have the potential to erode or destroy our best intentions. A gift from Christina and Ann’s consulting and teaching work was using four animals to help describe these unspoken elements or dynamics: the elephant – what comes forward for healing/wholeness such as wounds, conflict, shadow, and if ignored gets bigger and bigger, the giraffe – calls us to lift our head up and see the long view or the bigger picture, the lion of courage to speak truth without judgment, blame or shaming, and the monkey business of fun, laughter, camaraderie that shows up or monkey might remind us of its absence. The components of The Circle Way work together to create the stability to engage with these dynamics in a healthy way. Many circle practitioners have those four stuffed toys as part of their circle hosting kit so they are always at the ready!
The whale (ʔiitup/kakawin) and the elephant snuggling in the centre
At a circle practicum in Tofino on ƛaʔuukʷiʔatḥ territory, a principle was to centre local Nuu-chah-nulth culture into the experience as much as possible (the term Nuu-chah-nulth is used to describe fifteen Nations whose territories are on the west coast of ‘Vancouver Island’). The local hosts described the animals from their c̓išaaʔatḥ teachings that would partner with these very distant cousins: the whale (ʔiitup/kakawin), the eagle (ciixwatin), the wolf (qwayatciik), and the hummingbird (saasin). As Kelly Foxcroft-Poirier shared, “We come from story people – the fastest way to re-connect and gain insight and understanding about each other and our world is through authentic sharing of story. The animal world has always provided our ancestors insights into what is true about ourselves, each other and the complex dynamics of our world.”
Ebooks
Understanding Shadow and Projection in Circles and Groups - This booklet describes the covert and hard-to-talk-about energies in circle and group work–those aspects of self, personal need, and agenda that people bring to a meeting without awareness. You'll find that this booklet makes you more conscious of the impact of what’s not being talked about. It provides stories, exercises, and suggestions for keeping a circle accountable to both interpersonal integrity and appropriate task. Available to download for free here. Once the page has loaded, right click and choose Save as to download. Vietnamese language translation available here.
Understanding Energetics in Circles and Groups - In western culture, when we want to understand how to communicate with others, we focus on words. Yet, we’ve all had experiences that remind us how much communication happens without words—for example, sensing when a loved one is in trouble or withdrawing from a situation that feels fearful. Through energetics, we communicate our unspoken thoughts, moods, intentions, and feelings to others. This booklet gives a practical understanding of how to observe and participate in the energetics of groups and circles. In it, you’ll find exercises and practices to enhance your understanding and skill in this area of circle work. Available to download for free here. Once the page has loaded, right click and choose Save as to download. Vietnamese language translation available here.
Circle Stories from the Blog
If I Could Have a Do-over by Chantilly Mers
Re-set - Gaining Clarity in a Time of Conflict by Tenneson Woolf
Calling a Circle When Dealing with Conflict by Karen Medland
When the Bells Ring - the Power of the Pause by Shirley Lynn Martin
The Moose Hide Campaign by Paniguvluk, Stephanie Papik and Seeing our Blind Spots
Flowing With the Circle by James Wells
Reflecting on Race Equity Work by Diane Jordan, Nancy Fritsche Eagan and Richard Rivera
Community Circle Following the US Capital Insurrection by Irina Kaplan and Sabina Saleh
Seeing the Four Fold Practice in Circle by Olivier Winghart
Tending to the Outer Rim with Personal Practice by Katharine Weinmann
Tips: Using Circle with Marginalized Populations by Kristie McLean
Tips: Three Essential Practices for Ensuring the Well-being of the Group by Roq Gareau
The Circle’s Magic for Building Student Resiliency by Michele Rusinko
Resolving a Problem in a Large Organization by Matthias zur Bonsen
Five Tips to Invoke the Transformational Power of Circle by Aurora Meneghello
Puppets in the Centre: Easing into Heartful Conversation by Edmonton Public Library Staff
The Circle Way Books
The Circle Way - A Leader in Every Chair by Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea. The Circle Way illustrates the application and potential of using circle in organizational settings. The book is filled with stories that bring the necessary infrastructure of circle conversation to life with examples from consulting in health care, education, religious and non-profit administration, associations and general business, applying small group transformation and large-scale intervention. Available at Amazon. Please also check with your local independent bookstore or library. Dutch translation of The Circle Way - A Leader in Every Chair is available here. German translation of The Circle Way - A Leader in Every Chair available at Amazon. Please also check with your local independent bookstore or library.
Calling the Circle - The First and Future Culture by Christina Baldwin. This original presentation of The Circle Way practice (known then as PeerSpirit Circle Practice) grounds the universality of circles past and present and brings this lineage into modern application. It teaches readers the essential infrastructure to call the circle at home, at work, and in community settings. Available at Amazon. Please also check with your local independent bookstore or library.