Enjoy these reflections from Karen Winn about a group of senior women and their circle practice.
What Makes the Magic in W.I.S.E.? (Women, Inspiring, Searching, Evolving)
A Summary of thoughts by Karen Winn
We are an intentional community dedicated to supporting spiritual, mental, emotional and physical growth especially related to the last third of life. Giving a hearing to our inner voices leads us to a new or revised purpose. Our goal is to deal with life completion with clarity and optimism that leaves a positive legacy for future generations.
We have evolved from a loosely formed group of senior women into a closely-knit core of friends who are open and accepting of each other, and who have experienced significant loss in terms of health, family and friends and even of our own circle members. We come away after each meeting with a great sense of satisfaction from the shared wisdom and laughter we have enjoyed. How is it that we have evolved to this very special relationship over the past eleven years? I write this to guide others who might wish to form such a conversation group. What are the essentials?
Our meeting style is informed by ancient rituals of formal circle practice. Think about wise elders meeting around a central focal point—the fire—through which all energy flows. That is what shifts the group from informal socializing into “a receptive attitude of thoughtful speaking and deep listening that characterizes the circles of old”. It was Christina Baldwin’s close ties with Sage-ing International that created the format for the first twelve sessions of our group based on Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi’s book From Age-ing to Sage-ing, A Profound New Vision of Growing Older. Each session was based on a format of opening rituals of candle lighting, a chime, calming breaths, inspirational readings, input of informational materials, music and singing activities and a closing.
“Reb” Zalman’s book is infused with wisdom traditions from Christian, Hebrew, Muslim, Buddhist, agnostic and other philosophies. Here are the “tools” he offers for spiritual eldering that is personally meaningful:
Inner work is done in the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual realms.
Give a real hearing to our inner voices as we think about slowing down, creating a community of support and gradually over time becoming more contemplative and changing from always being busy “doing” to the alternative which is contentment with simply being!
Chart our lives and recall stories in a review of our life. An honest evaluation might show that what we thought were “failures” were new paths to success. This is the real work that releases us from the “box of unlived life” (that fear of the future and failure to resolve old issues).
Forgive ourselves and others for past offences. Forgiveness is a process and a gift we give ourselves.
Contemplate questions about life completion by answering philosophical issues about purpose, a higher power, mortality and afterlife.
Leave a legacy to future generations, by mentoring, community service, writing or sharing family history, working for social and ecological change, and modeling acceptance of the aging process.
Over time and using the same circle practices with definite start and closing times, we have continued to rotate responsibilities, meeting sites (both homes and meeting in nature), and always enjoy wonderful conversation and treats at break time. As we have become more familiar with new technology, Zoom has allowed members to attend meetings virtually. We are in awe that on a regular basis we experience synchronicities in the materials we share and find meaningful, such as:
Reading and discussing books of interest. Most deal with spiritual practices, legal and medical responsibilities, declining health issues, options for simplified living and housing possibilities, and our increasing awareness of the role of nature in our spiritual well-being. A partial list below includes some of our favorite reads.
Podcasts by David Brooks, Krista Tippett, and others and Maria Shriver’s weekly “Sunday Paper” and her workshops interviewing guests on “Radically Reframing Aging”. We even recently became enamored of the current craze over Taylor Swift, leading us to watch her movie together and become familiar with the lyrics of her songs.
Sharing personal creative talents and hobbies: creating mandalas, folding origami boxes, drumming, exercise routines, poetry writing, singing accompanied by our own guitarist, garden walks, forest bathing (hugging trees), roasting marshmallows for s’mores and many more delights.
And together we have evolved. Our discussions have prepared and helped carry us through significant times in our lives -even a worldwide pandemic! The wholeness, fullness and synergy that occur in our meetings is spiritual. As one of our members said, “I want to be a person who can leave this world praising God and saying, “I’ve tried to do the best I could.” I would add, with a positive attitude that embraces aging.
These are the folks who have been companions on this journey. Every person has been vital for the contributions they have made to the group synergy:
Loretta Slinde, Karel Cripe, Gail Angus, Mary Anderson, Vicki Damron, Jan Diers, Rhonda Hartwig, Mary Schlais, Kathy Peterson, Janet Dow, Mary Squire, Susan Hornig, Nina Gookin Peterson, Sharon Webster, and Karen Winn.
Book list:
The Star in My Heart, by Joyce Rupp. The Seven Whispers, by Christina Baldwin, Successful Aging, by Daniel J. Levitin, It’s Never too Late to Begin Again, by Cameron Lively, Becoming Wise, by Krista Tippett, Presence, Bringing your Boldest Self to your Biggest Challenges, by Amy Cuddy, Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande, Embers, by Richard Wagamese, The Wise Heart, by Jack Kornfield, On The Brink of Everything by Parker Palmer, Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner.
Karen Lee Winn My early years as an Army brat gifted me with resilience for my roles as teacher, wife, mother, grandmother, day care provider, widow, facilitator for Sage-ing International, recorder of family stories, and creator of a family recipe book. Now, I’m an elder embracing the transition to a senior living community at the grand age of 80 years (of wisdom).
Fifteen years ago, I was captivated by Rabbi Zalman Schachter- Shalomi's, From Age-ing to Sage-ing, A Profound New Vision of Growing Older. He convinced me that the aging process benefited from study, deep conversations, and intentional activities. In November of 2009, I attended a workshop to certify me as a Sage-ing Facilitator. A life-changing retreat at Holy Wisdom Monastery in Madison Wisconsin led by Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea, kick-started my long and fruitful journey, shaped by extraordinary people and wonderful memories.