Sarah MacDougall, long-time circle practitioner, reflects back on an early experience with The Circle Way.
The Circle Way: A Story
Greetings, friends! I invite you to enter the circle through story. This narrative, a composite of many circles, hopefully will engage you in the experience of circle, thus making The Circle Way come alive.
It is May and the spring peepers are singing for their mates. The air is warm and I can smell the salt breeze rising up from the sound to the west as a collection of people from different professions, geographical locations, of varying ages, genders, and ethnic backgrounds, gather for an intensive circle learning experience. I am wondering if The Circle Way (TCW) will provide the skills, the experience, the practice I need to make some bold moves in my professional and personal life.
As we approach the octagonal building sitting in the midst of a meadow, Lynn, our TCW practitioner, invites us to move in silence as we step over the threshold into the glass-enclosed room. In the center of the room we see a basket of wildflowers. Back jack chairs form a rim around the center. We each find a place on the rim, searching the faces of our colleague-adventurers, as we settle into the circular form. Most meetings I attend find me sitting in a row looking at the backs of my colleagues, so facing one another is a departure from the norm. The silence is filled with energy. We may not be speaking, but everyone’s presence is very loud. We were asked to maintain silence as we entered the meeting area as a way of establishing a boundary between social space and intentional circle space. I am a little uncomfortable with the silence, having been conditioned to make constant social chit chat in these situations; however, the transition provides time to quiet my thoughts and helps me become more fully present.
After we are all settled, Ted, the other practitioner, rings a small chime, letting the sound reverberate through the air and through our awareness. He explains after a few seconds that the ringing of the chime is a signal that we have gathered together in an intentional way. Our circle has started.
As we sit looking at the basket of wildflowers in the center, Lynn lights a candle telling us that the visual center provides a place for us to focus our attention. It also holds our intention for gathering together, the wild flowers being a symbol of our embarkation on a wild and exciting adventure of discovery, the candle flame reminding us of our ancestors who gathered around fires for warmth and safety, while having community councils to hold the social fabric of their lives together.
One of the primary threads of that fabric was self-governance. Each person sitting on the rim knew how to behave while participating in circle. So, our next task is to come to some agreement about how we will function together. Ted introduces four agreements, derived from ancient laws of respect, which serve as a basic framework for group norms. Several people voice concerns about the concept of confidentiality. After several minutes of discussion, we all seem to be comfortable with the idea that confidentiality means not sharing details of personal story. Sharing general ideas and conclusions is appropriate. We are not sure how the agreement about pausing from time to time to refocus will manifest in reality, but are willing to try it. Lynn asks us to indicate our willingness to abide by the four agreements for this circle session by giving a thumbs-up sign, assuring us that we can amend agreements at any time if we feel the need for additional norms. All thumbs are pointing toward the ceiling, and we are ready to move on to check-in.
For check-in, Ted explains we will utilize the technique of passing a talking piece. It is a common human trait to talk over one another, and some form of designation of whose turn it is to speak is a long-time practice found all around the world. The talking piece ensures that each person’s voice is welcomed, not only those based on status or power. Only the person holding the talking piece can speak. Everyone else is invited to listen with compassion, seeking understanding, one of the four agreements we just committed to. For check-in we each speak our name into the center, place a small object we were invited to bring, and tell a story about the object as a way of weaving connections between us. Sharing personal story is a component that is neglected in most modern-day meetings I attend.
As Ted is introducing check-in, I find myself thinking about a group of professional colleagues I have been meeting with for 2 years. It dawns on me that I do not know anything about these colleagues other than the professional job they do on a daily basis. I am anxious to experience check-in with this diverse group of people who have traveled from distant places. I am hungry for these human connections.
A smooth, black rock, which fits nicely into the palm of the hand is our talking piece. Lynn tells us that this wonderfully weathered rock came from the shores of one of the Great Lakes. Mary asks for the rock and starts check-in by sharing her object, a picture of her new grandson, her first grandchild. She tells about the importance of family to her and how each generation brings such hope. She places her desire to deepen family bonds into the center of the circle. Mary passes the rock to her left, to Sam, who holds the smoothness in his palm for several seconds, and then passes the rock to Sandy. Sam is not yet ready to speak into the center and so demonstrates the agreement to offer what he can at that moment. Ted articulates what just happened so that we can all learn about the process as we experience it. Sandy takes several deep breaths and places a pin representing her membership in a professional organization in the center. She tells us she has spent the last week counseling with families who lost members in a tragic explosion. Her energy level is pretty low and she needs some time to re-center. She asks for our patience and understanding of her need to be quiet outside of circle. Again, as we are in a circle training experience, Ted points out that Sandy is living the agreement to ask for what she needs. After each person on the rim checks in, the talking piece makes its way back to Sam, who passed during the first round. Lynn reminds us that we always have the right to pass in a talking piece council and will be given another opportunity to speak if we choose to do so. Check-in allows for everyone’s voice and energy to be placed in the center of the circle. Over time, the circle’s center becomes a repository of group energy and wisdom. We learn to start relying on the collective wisdom of the group rather than solely on our individual perceptions. Community is building. We are moving from the individualistic approach of modern society back to the a collective approach.
After a short break Ted explains that he has been acting as the guardian of the circle for this first session and invites someone else to assume that role. Each session one of us will have the opportunity to pay heightened attention to group energy and process. We, by group consensus, are granted permission to ring the chime to intervene in group process if we sense that conversation is getting off track, if someone is going on for an extended period of time thus losing the group’s attention, or if tensions or disagreements arise, or if there is some arriving wisdom to celebrate. At first, everyone is hesitant to volunteer for such a responsible job, but Lynn assures us that everyone shares this responsibility and can ask for the chime to be sounded at any time. So, Carol volunteers and assumes the guardian role. Carol rings the chime and waits for several seconds for everyone to settle back into circle and then rings a second time to indicate that we, indeed, are all back and ready to move forward. I sense that the energy is more settled now, that the connections woven between us in check-in have created a more trusting environment.
This is certainly different from the staff and committee meetings I have been attending. People are listening without interrupting, the energy of the group is a meaningful component. We have articulated agreements about how we will behave with one another. No one can hold us hostage because we have a guardian of our process, who will intervene and bring us back to center if someone decides to get on a band wagon or loses focus!! This I like. As I watch the candle flame flickering and think about the symbolism of the wildflowers in the center, I begin to see how this methodology can be used in my work situation. Lynn brings me out of my reverie by opening up a discussion of The Circle Way principles and practices, the backbone of circle.
We read about the principles and practices from the TCW Guide and then talk about them to construct our own understanding. The intention of this circle session, to have a clear understanding of how circle functions, is stated and written on a card. This card is then placed in our circle’s center to remind us all of our purpose. Ted explains that we will not use the talking piece for this session, but instead, will be in a discussion council with free-flowing conversation, unless we feel the need to slow the pace. After about a half hour, Carol rings the chime, lets us take a few deep breaths, and rings a second time. She says she senses the need to have one round of the talking piece so everyone can summarize their understanding of the principles and practices. All agree with a thumbs-up signal. After the talking piece round, as the sun is setting and evening birds are welcoming the dusk, Carol, as guardian, says she senses our energy waning. Lynn agrees and suggests that we do a brief check-out by sharing two words that speak to how we are feeling at the moment. To signal the closing of this circle, Sam blows out the candle and our guardian rings the chime releasing us from circle space. As we leave the octagonal meeting house and walk back across the wooden boardwalk over the marsh, I have a sense that I have just experienced an extraordinary happening. It is more a feeling than a thought. I feel like I have come home to a form that is vaguely familiar to me.
Sarah MacDougall, Ed.D., is an elder in The Circle Way community. It has been her privilege to serve on The Circle Way governance council since its inception in 1998. One characteristic of this board has been and is an openness to spirit, a willingness to listen for what needs to happen next and then act! This is a working board. It fills Sarah’s heart with joy to witness and be involved in the transition of The Circle Way to the next generation(s).