This month features a story by Lynda Monk (Canada), a writer who received a grant from The Circle Way to attend The Self as Source of Story, the semi-annual writing retreat hosted by our founder, Christina Baldwin, on Whidbey Island. Here, Lynda describes how the skilfully held circle created the requisite trust and community for deep reflection, enduring relationships, and meaningful writing.
The Circle Way for Writers
I have been learning, growing and teaching in circle for nearly 20 years. Long before I learned of The Circle Way, my work as a social worker and educator took me to many First Nation’s communities in British Columbia, Canada. I learned the power of the circle within Indigenous culture as a formation for sharing, healing, communication and connection. I often start and end training workshops with sharing circles, as a way to have everyone’s voice and wisdom present in the learning community; it also serves as a symbol and a vehicle for strengthening our interconnections together. I have also facilitated many writing circles over the years, both in person and virtually in online coaching programs and courses. The circle is not just a structure, it encourages a way of being, a way of showing up to oneself and with one another.
From May 1st-7th, 2019, I had the privilege of being part of The Self as the Source of the Story (SAS) writing course facilitated by Christina Baldwin on Whidbey Island, WA. From the moment we entered the round physical structure in one of the buildings at the Aldermarsh Retreat Centre, I felt the power of the circle. Christina, as co-founder of The Circle Way, is a gifted circle leader, and within the first moments, as women gathered one by one into this space, before a word was even spoken, I could feel the power of the circle of seats, of the altar in the centre of the room, the unlit candle in the middle of the circle, inviting me, inviting us, in.
In to what, you might ask? The circle invites us into space and time and possibilities. It is a structure that invites us into connection. We were 13 women gathered to learn and write. We wrote, we laughed, we danced, we cried, we listened, we spoke, and we wrote some more. We entered the circle and we entered our stories, and came home to ourselves in some way, individually and collectively moment-by-moment, story-by-story, in the Circle Way.
We honoured The Four Fold Way and were taught we had a Healer to our left, a Warrior to our right, a Teacher across the circle and a Visionary within. These individuals became our quiet allies, as we placed our hands on our hearts and sent the energy of care and learning, from heart to heart, around the circle. I was truly enriched and deeply moved by every single woman who sat together in our SAS Circle.
As Christina said, “our hearts open through our stories.” Our stories started with introductions in the circle, with our names. I said, “My name is Lynda Monk,” and then I added, “but it wasn’t always this way. I was born Laura Rosehart.” But that’s another story.
After the first night, our first time in Circle together, before we brought down the night sky, Christina said as we were wrapping up, “to arrive is enough.” I loved that! I hear her say that each time I sit down to write now, “to arrive is enough.” Arriving, perhaps, is everything. The willingness to show up and write. To show up to the Circle, in a room, on the page, for we are never alone even as we write. There is always a thread of support that runs through and alongside our writing and our lives.
During our final writing time within The Self as the Source of the Story course, we were given this prompt to write from: What is the thread I am taking from here to my home?
This is what I wrote (unedited)….
I am taking the thread of calling. Calling into the messy parts of my story, to the “muffin top”, to see what I have only quietly, silently seen. I am ready to make it, make me, my feelings, my aloneness at times, my leadership, my longings, my regrets, my shame, my grief, my joy, my triumphs, my resilience, my losses, my spiritual thread – into and onto the page. I am ready.
It is the threads below the textures obvious to see, below the surface, that want to weave now. (w)holeness is made up of parts. Many, many parts. Life is like that, broken and whole all at once.
I want to take the thread of this circle, each woman and heart in it – with me as a I write. I want to take the fast hop of bunnies, the slow lifting fog of the morning, the power of silence – into my writing and into my body, more.
Each day when I walk amidst the trees, by the ocean – as I always do, I’m going to look anew, look and listen closely for new threads, that are already here.
I mostly want to take the raw threaded remembering and honouring, that I am a writer, forward into my life and work. Somehow, I am going to claim more time for my writing, going to claim writing in my life. I am a woman who loves to write, loves to love and be loved.
I bow to the bareness and beauty my book will be, your book will be. I am complete, if you are complete.
Several months have passed since our time together, and I hold each woman close in my heart and thoughts and in my writing. I can hear their voices and their stories. I can feel their courage, strength and vulnerability. I feel supported by these women and our shared experience in the Circle, long past our good-byes. I feel inspired to write, in part, because I would love to send each woman from the Circle a copy of my published memoir, Relinquish: An Adoptee’s Memoir (working title, at the moment) and say thank YOU. Thank you for helping me believe this is an important story to tell. Thank you for helping me believe I have the ability, the right, the calling, the need…to write and tell it.
The Circle Way reminded me that I am a writer who writes. I am deeply grateful for having participated in Christina Baldwin’s The Self as the Source of the Story.
Please enjoy this audio file from Lynda reading from her writing (the file will download).
Lynda Monk, MSW, RSW, CPCC is a Registered Social Worker, Certified Professional Life Coach and writer. Within her businesses, Thrive Training & Coaching and the International Association for Journal Writing, Lynda uses the Circle as a way of gathering people and facilitating workshops, training programs and retreats. She is the co-author of Writing Alone Together: Journalling in a Circle of Women for Creativity, Compassion and Connection, as well as co-author of the international bestseller Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness. She is also the author of Life Source Writing: A Reflective Journaling Practice for Self-Discovery, Self-Care, Wellness and Creativity and producer of the Creative Wellness Guided Meditations CD. Lynda lives with her family on Salt Spring Island, BC, Canada where she tries her best to write everyday.