The Circle Way

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Part Three: Elder women's reflections on circle

We continue with this series of three videos, meeting Kathie Murtey, Lorraine Norrgard, Shelly Jurmain, and Yolanda Ronquillo, who circle up to reflect on some of the women and grandmother circles that have touched their lives.

Part Three’s video follows the talking piece around as they offer responses to the question “What is the importance of circle in women's gatherings?” A transcript of the video is included below.

If you missed Part One’s video, you can access it here, and Part Two’s video is here.



Shelly Jurmain:

So we've touched on this next topic already. I'm just asking if, as women gather, why is circle important? I know we've spoken about this. So if there's anything further that you would like to add or anything else that kind of comes to you as to the importance of circle in women's gatherings?

Kathie Murtey:

Well, my immediate response is because we operate with some basic ground rules, the circle is safe and we're safe with other women. We're going to be heard. We can say what's really happening in our life, whether it's pretty or not, we can say what's happening and it's safe to do that. I love plenty of room for myself and other people to make mistakes. But I must say that my feeling of safety in women's circles has never been violated. That allows for a lot of room for me to be me.

Kathie Murtey:

Incidentally, we've rung the bell several times, and no one's really said much about what that means. I can just say for me, it's I returned to the center of our circle. I sit quietly with myself kind of reflecting on what's just been said, and then the bell being rung the second time really helps to bring us back. Sometimes, we explain why it's been rung and sometimes we don't. I guess that depends on the situation, but I value it a great deal.

Yolanda Ronquillo:

What comes to me is the sacredness of the form, the circle itself. As Kathie was sharing about the sense of safety, to me, that's enhanced with the sense of sacredness. Certainly, in our full moon group, we really honor the fullness of that circle that is our mother, our grandmother. So I think the form is very important. Because we can't sit in circle right now, but we have for so many years that it's really, really wonderful to be able to slip back into that place and see myself sitting with you in circle and seeing that we're all connected that way. But certainly, the form is very important. That's it. Thank you.

Lorraine Norrgard:

I appreciate what you just said, Yolanda, because I'm so struck by circle in life, the circle of the seasons, the circle of life and our birth and growth and passing and the four directions or six directions of the circle of the earth. It's the forms of our planets and the cycle of our days. Even Indigenous houses were built in circles. I see that all over the world with the fire in the center and the beauty of that you can see everyone in the circle. There's no hierarchy in a circle. There is a balance and an equality that is so rich in that form. That form is sacred.

Lorraine Norrgard:

For me, it's so important that the center is like that fire, is the sacred home, the place for our higher power to work with us and be with us and be present. We are all connected through that circle like spokes on a wheel as we sit in circle on the rim. To be able pause in silence in that center when we are taking a moment to consider or to reflect or to ask for clarity or to simply have inspiration. It's such a gift. It's such a sacred place. There's no doubt that we are supported through that presence of the center.

Lorraine Norrgard:

I hear that expression, what goes around, comes around, and to know that we're listened to, we're heard, and these agreements of the circle process that we use. There are different ones and different types of circles, but they're so reassuring that everyone has a place and everyone has a voice and everyone will be heard. If you choose to be silent, you may. You may pass and have the opportunity at a later moment when you feel more ready or not to speak. Yeah, that form of the circle is the most, to me, so important and so important in our lives. There aren't enough opportunities to use or to sit in circle in other ways in our world that is set up very much on squares and cubes and on blocks and on a hierarchy that is not always satisfying. So this is an incredible experience. Thank you. I love circle. I put my piece back.

Shelly Jurmain:

Could we have a bell, Yoli? I ask for the bell to honor the wisdom each of you has shared. I totally lost my train of thought. So let's see. So meeting in circle has been, as each one of you have reflected, it's a natural form. The thing that I love about it is the quality that is inherently spoken and the physical structure of the circle. There no leader and there are no followers. It is really reflective of life. We're in this together. The other, as many of you have mentioned, the safety, the feeling of safety and the feeling of sacredness, there is something that is very profound and deep for each of us when we say I placed this in the center of our circle and I offered.

Shelly Jurmain:

It's not that anything has to be done with it, or that we have to fix it, or we have to remedy it. It's not that. I'm placing it here and it's held by the group, by other women. That is, for me, has been a very powerful, deep experience. So I'll end there. Yeah, Kathie?

Kathie Murtey:

Between you and Shelly and Lorraine, it reminded me of one of the things has become important to me. I no longer have only a highest power. I have a highest and a deepest power. Because the higher phrase took me up through my body and out to the great eternal. But the deepest brings me in to my body and into the earth. I'm of the opinion that our earth needs us there now. So mine is highest and deepest power. Thank you. I place it in the center.

Yolanda Ronquillo:

I place my hands in the middle of this circle, and remember that when I'm in circle, I just was having images of being in a sweat lodge. When I'm in circle, it's not only sacred, which is huge, it's not only holy, but it's inclusive of not just who's in the circle, that all of the people we love, each of us, and then all of the neighborhoods where we live, each of us, and all of the communities where we live. It just keeps going out and out and out, including not just our planet, but what we don't know about what's out there. So that's the word that comes to me is connectedness or inclusiveness.

Shelly Jurmain:

Can we have a bell, Yoli?

Yolanda Ronquillo:

And God bless the Tibetans for making such wonderful bells.


Kathie Murtey is a retired and life long, teacher, civil servant, social justice activist, peacemaker, mother, grandmother, storyteller and facilitator.  She is currently living in Iowa.  She returned to the Midwest, the land of her birth, after spending 50 years in Southern California.  Kathie is committed to a world where women are equally valued decision makers all around the world in partnership with men.   

Lorraine Norrgard lives in Washburn, Wisconsin by Lake Superior, near the "Apostle Islands" (22 islands in Lake Superior). Madeline Island (Moningwanekaaning-minis in Ojibwe language) is the most sacred place to the 19 Bands of Lake Superior Ojibwe (Anishinaabeg) who are the second largest Indigenous Nation in North America. Lorraine’s husband was the Director of Health and Human services for the Tribe and Lorraine was a producer/director of historical documentaries for PBS focusing on Indigenous topics and created a six-part series on the history of the Anishinaabe/Ojibwe people. Previously, Lorraine worked for the United Nations Development Program as a Communication Program Officer for the Asia Region based in Bangkok. Lorraine has organized women’s circles for years and has been a facilitator at the Arizona Council of Grandmothers Gatherings, and the Gulf Shores Grandmothers Gathering. She established the Grandmothers Gathering for Gitchigaaming (Lake Superior) with a group of local women that focused on the vitality of Lake Superior and they created the website www.grandmothersgathering.org. Lorraine presently facilitates the Iona Circle of women internationally via Zoom and two other women’s circles near her home, and has a small retreat cottage on Lake Superior. Lorraine’s education was a B.A. in Art and an M.A. in Communications, and worked for the United Nations and PBS, Duluth, MN. Most recently Lorraine has been an independent producer with her own company until she retired in 2010. 

Shelly Jurmain is a retired accountant, living in Tucson Arizona. She came to the Arizona Council of Grandmothers in 2008, and fell in love with women gathering and being in circle. Invited to the First Fire Gathering (US), she helped move the body of work called The Circle Way held by Ann Linnea and Christina Baldwin from founder-held to community-held. An outgrowth of this was her service on the board for The Circle Way from 2015 to 2020. 

Active in the Arizona Council of Grandmothers on and off through her final working years, Shelly become more involved on the Council in the last few years. When the pandemic hit, many grandmother in-person circles were moved to a virtual environment, and the Arizona Council began exploring the possibilities of holding a virtual gathering. In September – October 2020, “Grandmother Visions: The Ripple Effect of Love and Appreciation!” was held in a series of four weekly virtual circles and inspired a follow up monthly circle for those who wished to continue. A group of dedicated grandmothers continue to meet and plan for the 2021 Arizona Council Gathering, which will also be held virtually. Theme and timing have yet to be revealed!

Yolanda Ronquillo is a bilingual, bicultural social justice activist, writer and artist who was born to Mexican immigrant parents in Oakland California where she continues to live and thrive. Her two sons, Ramón and Tim, have graced and inspired her life. Yolanda's work, Cultural Paths to Knowledge, is an adult learning practice and framework she developed to forge empowered action communities.  Yolanda has focused her passion and skills of bridging differences in culture, language and role status with school systems and with women in circles.  And for the past twelve years has offered SoulSpeak retreats for women in California and Costa Rica.

Video Producer: Aurora Meneghello

Aurora Meneghello is a Transformative Coach and works with individuals from all over the world who want to grow their careers and businesses while living a life of fulfillment and purpose. Aurora is also the Founder of Repurpose Your Purpose, a program to help people change careers by using what they already know to do something new. When not coaching individuals, Aurora hosts events, coaches groups, and spends as much time as she can in nature.